A Few Things That Kind of Sort of But Not Really B http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com Just another AltPornNow.com weblog Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:57:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 en hourly 1 200 Things That Kind Of Bug Me/200 Things I Don’t Like. http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/200-things-that-kind-of-bug-me200-things-i-dont-like/ http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/200-things-that-kind-of-bug-me200-things-i-dont-like/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:57:44 +0000 commaperiod http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/200-things-that-kind-of-bug-me200-things-i-dont-like/ This didn’t take me very long
1. Long Island
2. philosophy majors
3. meeting new people
4. awkward silences
5. hearing a celebrity talk about their own political/religious views. guess what? you fucking play make-believe for a living.
6. the fitness industry
7. back to back episodes of Charmed
8. the entire cast of “Friends” comedic delivery
9. David Schwimmer’s stupid dumb face
10. the entitled
11. the “stars” of Laguna Beach
12. injuries
13. hemorrhoids
14. being rushed
15. spelling errors
16. dating
17. tacky lawn ornaments
18. the little things in life
19. the lack of any truly big things in life
20. Larry the Cable Guy
21. new things
22. petty human emotions
23. dried cum in my shaft after masturbating that makes my pee sting
24. the easily offended
25. Angelina Jolie’s lips (am I the only one who thinks they look sausage-y?)
26. models
27. wiggers
28. older men with ponytails
29. razor burn
30. those old Six Flags commercials with the old guy
31. Citizens Bank
32. Cingular wireless
33. new country music
34. cranberries (fruit
)35. Cranberries (band
)36. Bon
o37. Zach Braf
f38. Rhode Island
39. having my bellybutton touched
40. fire
41. humans in general
42. diarrhea
43. Nicholas Cage’s (over)acting
44. constipation
45. emotions
46. shit talkers
47. seagulls
48. flies
49. Crossing Jordan
50. when people quote Napoleon Dynamite
51. stubbing of the toes
52. sunburns
53. dehydration
54. hip-hop attitude
55. hip-hop
56. my love handles
57. the guy that played Anakin Skywalker
58. my depression59. my anxiety disorder
60. freezing cold wind
61. yellow gatorade
62. overly enthusiastic waitstaff
63. nail fungus
64. George Clooney
65. Pauly Shore
66. having really chapped lips
67. bad facial hair on people (chin-strap beards etc.)
68. emo kids
69. way too tight jeans on boys
70. goth folk
71. Tom Cruise
72. sucking air through my cavities
73. political talk
74. the smug
75. meatheads
76. “springbreakers
“77. how abrasive the Chinese language sounds
78. creationists
79. faux-hawks
80. maggots
81. pastel colors
82. false vibrato
83. Celine Dion
84. busy bassists
85. the south
86. mormons
87. scientologists
88. “cute” dogs
89. salmon
90. tough guys on internet forums
91. hiccups
92. having a twitchy eye
93. dry rooms
94. dry towns
95. The Red Hot Chili Peppers
96. white people with dreads
97. loud noises
98. the elderly
99. flavored coffee
100. dry chicken
101. bad teeth
102. pubes (not once owned by me) on toilet seats
103. Jar-Jar Binks
104. my own complacency
105. our fascination with celebrities
106. diet soda
107. the fucking fashion industry
108. having an argument stem from some myspace related incident.
109. having that argument be something to do with the positioning of your “top friends”
110. jock itch
111. girls gone wild….in space
112. fake tits
113. “Growing up Gotti”
114. having my testicles checked by a female physician
115. ring sting
116. the smell of vomit
117. soft cheese. cream cheese excluded
118. the smell of old people
119. having to pee in the middle of the night
120. heavily perfumed 60-70 yr. old women
121. people who say “budaydah” instead of “potato”
122. femi-nazi’s
123. girls in sweatpants that say “juicy” or “sweet” on the ass
124. Nascar
125. lime
126. that decal of Calvin pissing on the Chevy symbol
127. loud babies
128. images of childbirth
129. college girls that wear trucker hats
130. the fact that I suck at math
131. getting a bad night’s sleep
132. heat waves
133. bird shit on my windshield that won’t come off.
134. human shit on my windshield
135. the ignorant
136. Xtreme sports and it’s participants
137. when I poop and the water splashes up and wets my buttcheeks
138. when good tv shows get cancelled
139. the feeling you get when you smoke too many cigarettes
140. the (very real) idea of tooth loss
141. dry heaves
142. Lynyrd Skynyrd
143. Aaron Carter
144. The Doors
145. birkenstocks
146. Ernie Boch jr.
147. The Saters(or really just loving them)
148. wet farts
149. the insanity of Market Basket
150. female asian drivers
151. the smell of vinegar
152. the fact that Mel Gibson and George Clooney are notorious “pranksters”
153. jokes
154. when people say “random!” after something funny is said
155. sunglasses worn indoors
156. the fact that our comfortable, sacred, awesome home burnt down
157. Grey’s Anatomy
158. this new mandatory health insurance shit in Mass.
159. gastric bypass surgery
160. Dog the bounty hunter’s wife
161. Shaq’s acting
162. when actors try to do a Massachussetts accent and they sound like Ted Kennedy
163. excessively large SUV’s
164. when I cut my fingernails too short
165. being wrong
166. when pre-pubers whip my ass on xbox live and then talking shit. it’s humiliating
167. people who mistake going out to a club or restaurant for anger therapy
168. stepping full blast on a pebble with my heel
169. the first really cold day of the year
170. commercials with talking animals or babies
171. when you brush too hard and miss your teeth and jam the toothbrush into your gums
172. cats. except mine
173. public restrooms
174. men who don’t understand the protocol for urinal usage spacing. Say there are 5 urinals. Left to right they are: a,b,c,d, and e. Man 1 goes to urinal a. Man 2 goes to urinal e. Man 3, if he must, goes to urinal c.
175. the morbidly obese
176. after dishing it out, having to take it.
177. explaining my tattoos
178. dudes with tramp stamps (see “spring breakers”)
179. people who laugh uncomfortably after everything they say
180. the word “rad”
181. being called “chief”
182. not knowing then what I know now
183. punk rockers. yes folks, you are as big of a joke as goth people
184. losing
185. Freddie Prinze jr’s stupid face that I hate
186. apologizing
187. college hoops
188. being told of what an ass I was the drunken night before
189. zipping my dick
190. art snobs
191. Mickey Rourke’s fucked up face
192. old time movies
193. The Three Stooges
194. bullies
195. horses
196. poker
197. tequila
198. the pretentious. bands especially.
199. when Beef gets in “crazy mode”
200. newscasters/reporters speech patterns

This was actually rather theraputic. I even switched on the safety on the shotgun that was in my mouth.

]]> http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/200-things-that-kind-of-bug-me200-things-i-dont-like/feed/ Hello world! http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/hello-world/ http://dearcommaperiod.altpornnow.com/2009/01/12/hello-world/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:54:51 +0000 commaperiod Welcome to AltPornNow.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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